Musicals Part 2

Look at you! Your ankles are totally not fat! I know you've been waiting for this post passionately, sitting in the darkest corner of your emo room, desperately hugging a man arm pillow and crying your lacrimal fluids out. After writing Musicals Part 1, a lot of things happened that deepened my passion for the medium:

1) Glee returned after a long winter hiatus and featured performances by Doogie Howser, MD and Maureen/Elphaba, as well as songs by our dear Lady G, Madonna, The Doors, Beck, and perm queen Bonnie Tyler. Although I didn't appreciate the finale very much, because it didn't show a 2-hour shooting in a hospital in Seattle (spoiler alert FAIL), my appreciation of the show is a never-ending story (until something better comes along).

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2) I have been questioned for my adoration of musicals. Here are some of the other things I have been critizised for lately:

- I don't listen (because you say stupid things)

- I'm sexist (LOL)

- I'm a poser (and what?)

- I'm not a good singer (point)

- I’m putting people in boxes (yes, and you wanna know what’s written on YOUR box?)

- I'm too pale (Edward is pale too and he can fly and bite people and stuff)

- I'm arrogant (Newsflash!)

So this post is partly a matter of defense, partly a matter of I'm-gonna-rub-the-awesomeness-of-(some)-musicals-in-your-face-attack.

3) Everyone's life right now sort of resembles a trashy musical: there's bits of drama, singing, dancing, weird acting, performances, tacky costumes and sometimes people even get applauded for it. See you at the Tony Awards, pookies [I really don't know why the font is so small here. Ask Google)

I humbly admit, musicals can be horrible pieces of non-tainment emanating an air of grandma-suited distraction for the stupid classes. But as with many other things in life, they just are what you make of it. Here are some more examples of musicals I enjoy:

Rocky Horror (Picture) Show

The cult classic that cemented my adoration for the medium and also inspired one half of my glamrock name. I have to admit, I never saw it on stage, but I watched the movie so often that I probably lost a year of my precious life with it. It's so full of film and art references, layers and well-placed obscenities, that I never got sick of RHPS.

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And if you ever happen to be around a theater doing a midnight screening of RHPS, put some freaky make-up on, wear a pair of ripped fishnets, get some rice and cleaning gloves, and celebrate the night away (if you need more specifities on the latter topic, ask me offline in a secure environment without internet spies).

Cry Baby

Another John Waters example of the craft called bad taste musical assemblance. It features the likes of Johnny Depp and Iggy Pop. Cry Baby succeeds in bringing licking to a new level (I won't get mononucleosis, will I?). Somewhere Dr. Frank’n’Furter sits in his trans-alien castle and is crying. The costumes are one third Mad Men, one third punk, and one third classic rock’n’roll. Maybe also one third jail couture, but then it would be 133,33% and that’s just confusing to my social science brain. I also wonder how many calories tears have? Are they a hygienic beverage?

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Wicked

I saw Wicked last summer after having endured one year of constant Wicked referencing, Karaoke singing and general nerve wrecking (love you, honey!). So after this lengthy psychological torture I simply gave up and watched the show. At the first scene my entourage and I giggled a lot because it was probably the most ridiculous thing a human has ever seen on stage (it even tops Euridike having sex with a giant godly fly). There was a dragon with diamond sparkly eyes emanating fog and Glinda, the protagonist, hovering over the choir wearing the most outragous fairy dress ever made. Not surprisingly she also had a giant glitter wand in her hand (the musical is about witches or whatever).

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Although (or because) the musical is so intentionally over-the-top and green, it never loses it’s ironic appeal and it even provides some refreshing „seriousness“ in between. I’d sell my pinkie shampoo that doesn’t work on my hair to see Wicked with the original Broadway cast.

Honorary mentions: Funny Girl, Spring Awakening (haven’t seen it yet, looks promising), Altar Boyz, La Cage aux Folles, West Side Story, Hair, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Avenue Q, Moulin Rouge, Chicago (partly), Cabaret.

Dishonorary mentions: Cats, Phantom of the Opera, Tanz der Vampire (haven’t seen it, don’t want to see it, don’t like it), Starlight Express (Is that even a musical? Have you no shame?), everything they play in Vienna forever and ever and ever until the Wicked Witch of the West or the sweet transvestites from Transsexual, Transsylvania will come to free us from this oppression.

Musicals Part I

Ladies and gentlemen and everyone else! This week I proudly present to you, my unconventional conventionalists, the many wonderful not-so-hidden fashion treasures of singy-songy, dancy kitsch movies. Sometimes they are referred to as „musicals“. Let‘s cut the blablabla and focus on some examples.

Rent

OK, this is NOT the most fashionconscious of musicals since the producers obviously love 80/90s NY realism. But since I am always looking for a cheap excuse to chat about Rent, I recapped the piece and figured that I really like Collins' coat (me. want to go. thompkins square park. now. also: sunday sundae)

And let‘s not forget about Angel, pookies.

3 points for men in long tailored coats

5 points for dragqueeniness

2 points for the East Village

Glee

Just watch it, fellow weirdos! Not only does the entire club sometimes dress in matching outfits, there is also a blogworthy sense of character dress.

The neurotic teacher with - quote cheerleading coach - „eyes like a starving bush baby“ reminds me of Winona in Mermaids.

Kurt (what should I say?)

And of course Rachel! Our star in a flashy skirt combined with yellow socks and too much self confidence.

1 point for outfits I could never wear

3 points for stage uniforms (not only for the maintreamers but also for the biggies and even for the future MIT student in wheelchair)

10 extra points for Kurt

Romeo and Juliet

Does this count as a musical? At least, there's a wealth of interesting accessory choices to be found in this scene: Angel wings, Cleopatra mum, Leo knight, etc....(oh wow. I already forgot how beautiful it is. This was kind of a make out movie when I was young. I wonder what the kids watch nowadays. Twilight? Harry Potter? YouPorn?).

9 points for being 100 times better than Moulin Rouge

Hairspray

Ohhh, where should I begin? I‘ll just let the pics speak for themselves....

Holy shit. debbie harry finally has a new hairdo?

I have to do more sportsm I know.

15 points for being unconditionally fat, proud and obscene, also known as "my favourite trinity of adjectives".

8 Femmes

Wonderful before-after scene with legendary Isabelle Huppert. All in all: solid French gear.

5 points for old-fashioned murder movie appeal ala sexy Miss Marple

1 point for leopard print

1 point for having a conniving maid character (there more to come in "Musicals Part II" !)

Funny Face

This is probably the best match for this topic: semi-ridic fashion + over the top dancing and singing = Funny Face. Audrey Hepburn stars as Monika Lewinsky who falls for a creepy old photographer played by Fred Astaire (whose appeal I personally never understood. I was born after 1900 though). She subsequently marries the ghoul in Paris (what a surprise!). Also, from a 21st century perspective the lyrics to this song have a quite interesting twist.

Givenchy by the way...

Black turtleneck, ballerinas and new age performance dance, how....progressive?

9 points for unintended funnyness

2 points for intended funnyness

To be continued...

Comeback of everything and everyone

tatarataaaa!!! ok, so i finally came back from my one year business trip which served the humble purpose of conducting research in the following fields: american fashion, simultaneous mass pms-ing, boston kreme donut over-ingestion.

in this post i will concentrate on american "fashion", which is a straight out lie because it doesn't exist and writing about it would be like writing about something that doesn't exist for god's sake. i can't think of anything that doesn't exist. is this a trick question, mind? are you kidding me again? like yesterday when i thought i could grow up to become a butterfly made out of rainbows?

actually i will talk about la roux, which is a lie too, bc. seriously actually actually actually i will rant about the fash catastrophe that is the decade between 1980 and 1990:

my partly ironic obsession with the 80s began when i was a young agile female of 16 springtimes. as a result of my self-prescribed pathetic lifestyle (i.e. "smiling is for losers", "i do not need to wash my hair, there are children in africa dying") i moved to the dark side like mischa barton and started listening to 80s popsongs composed of three main characteristics:

sad beautiful

sad strange

sad suicidal

in retrospect i have to admit that the (non-)styling of certain lead singers did at some point contribute to my fanatism (understatement radar goes wawawawa!!!!)

robert



siouxsie



ian




moz

after i saw R.S. at a life concert literally rolling on stage like a minimuff, i got disenchanted (and felt really really fremd-sad), forgot about all these black and white shots, discarded my semi-rebellious NATO jacket and moved forward to experience the dumb joy of colourful 80s music arranged around these three traits:

fun dancy

(it always kept me wondering: where did the water drain off? was there a special plumbing arrangement constructed especially for the stage? these are not the only questions i have about this flick)

(just because)


(zoom in, woman!)

fun gay


you were always on my mind...thanks to these hats


have faith, george. and tell the heeled devil to fuck off!



ooops...wrong decade

fun synthy


kawaiiiii!!!!

knowing my backstory, no wonder that my weak popsoul got shaked by this. the hair? the neon lamps? the make up? the coats? the attempted modernism? the lyrics (so damn true...)? is it too early to crown her as an androgynous molly ringwald of the 00s?

madmad, get ready to rumble. this time, i'll be bulletproof.