Because I'm older than K-Stew and I use conditioner I get asked a lot of questions. And since I cried at least six times during Glee today, I am now in a state of great empathy and feeling towards my fellow humans. Here is your questions answered:
Is W College really like in that movie? Yes. But there's less alcohol and smoking nowadays.
Have you always been such a control freak? No, it takes a lot of time and exercise to reach this high level of neurosis perfection *scratches skin from hands*
Is W College really like in that movie? Yes. But there's less alcohol and smoking nowadays.
Have you always been such a control freak? No, it takes a lot of time and exercise to reach this high level of
Which one is John Irving's best novel? Hotel New Hampshire, you Ellen Jamesian. You wanna say something? Talk to my hand.
Why does she think I hate her boyfriend? I totally forgot who asked me this question in which context. Anyways, she probs thinks you hate the mandude because you didn't listen to him babbling about how hot Katy Perry is or Resident Evil 3. These are the two most common reasons in my experience.
How do I stop consuming? (see also: How can I stop my addiction to American TV series?) You can't and you won't. Cheers.
Will people come to our exhibition? Yes, definitely. It's on 22nd of October in "Das Werk" (Neulerchenfelderstraße 6-8, 1160 Wien). There's gonna be lots of art, music, love and decadence. If you don't come, I will hate you. Like forevs.
What is better: using a condom - which you hate - or having a brainfuck because your menstruation is late? There's plenty of other options, babyhoney. Did you ever hear about these things attached to your arms? They're called hands. And all the other stuff Darwin invented (Anyways. Act safely and responsibly. Seriously. Not kidding here).
Why does she think I hate her boyfriend? I totally forgot who asked me this question in which context. Anyways, she probs thinks you hate the mandude because you didn't listen to him babbling about how hot Katy Perry is or Resident Evil 3. These are the two most common reasons in my experience.
How do I stop consuming? (see also: How can I stop my addiction to American TV series?) You can't and you won't. Cheers.
Will people come to our exhibition? Yes, definitely. It's on 22nd of October in "Das Werk" (Neulerchenfelderstraße 6-8, 1160 Wien). There's gonna be lots of art, music, love and decadence. If you don't come, I will hate you. Like forevs.
What is better: using a condom - which you hate - or having a brainfuck because your menstruation is late? There's plenty of other options, babyhoney. Did you ever hear about these things attached to your arms? They're called hands. And all the other stuff Darwin invented (Anyways. Act safely and responsibly. Seriously. Not kidding here).
Do I go to the toilet too often? No.
Do I have a crush on James Franco? Quite possibly.
How does one get over a break up? Jameson. Long answer to be discussed below.
The 5 Stages of Grief Exemplified Through Popculture
Have you been left because you're too good-looking and intelligent? Did you leave your partner because you couldn't agree on Apple vs. Microsoft? And now you kind of regret it, because your PC has a virus AGAIN and your better half is not there to lend you his/her Powerbook to watch the last episode of Gossip Girl? This is called loss. And it's serious. Like purchasing weirdly sized tampons.
1) Raw Raw Oh Lala
First, you'll experience the many beauties of denial. What? Don't know what that is. I'm not interested in it. Please let me brood in my indifference for now. Thanks. Where is the remote control?
Music: Everything you usually listen to, Lady Gaga, Madonna, Hip Hop, R&B.
Literature: Vogue, David Sedaris.
Art: Keith Haring, Andy Warhol.
Film: Harry Potter, Tim Burton (I am well aware that Harry Potter is not yet a film director. Thanks.)
Film: Harry Potter, Tim Burton (I am well aware that Harry Potter is not yet a film director. Thanks.)
2) Well, they get what they want and they never want it again.
Second, you'll get angry. This is the moment in which you should go to a 90s party. There you'll get drunk, rip apart your flannel shirt and scream from the top of your lungs. This is also the phase in which you might discover a short-term half-hearted interest in 3rd wave feminism (in case you're a woman).
Music: Hole, L7, Bikini Kill, Violent Femmes.
Literature: Matias Faldbakken, Thomas Bernhard.
Art: Georg Baselitz, Jackson Pollock (remember Short Bus? Thanks, G)
Film: Lars von Trier.
3) If I only could. Make a deal with god.
Third, after curing your giant hangover, you'll meet up with your unemployed friends and analyze.Your friends will be super bored of course, but if they're good humans, they'll fake mild interest in your complaining and nod from time to time.
Music: Kate Bush (Running up that Hill), Depeche Mode (Walking in my Shoes).
Literature: Cosmopolitan advice columns, Elizabeth Gilbert.
Literature: Cosmopolitan advice columns, Elizabeth Gilbert.
Art: some shit from the 19th century,
Film: some of the darker Woody Allen stuff.
4) Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head.
Later that night, you'll walk home and process your sad panda feelings. You'll find out that no one loves you, and although you're so very entertaining, you're gonna sleep alone at night.
Music: The Smiths, Joy Division.
Literature: Ingeborg Bachmann, Sylvia Plath.
Art: Egon Schiele, Martina Abramovic.
Film: David Lynch, Titanic.
5) I will survive.
5) I will survive.
Just kidding, everyone loves you! After some couple of centuries you'll have arrived at a stage of acceptance. Congratulations, it's time to move on and find someone new who doesn't know all your negative character traits, or that your family is horribly loud, or that you actually had really crappy 80s hair as a kid.
Music: Gloria Gaynor, New Order, Iggy Pop, Florence and the Machine.
Literature: Shakespeare (the lighter stuff).
Art: Asgar/ Gabriel
Film: Breakfast at Tiffany's, and all the other Hollywood movies made from 1930 to 1965.
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viaHow can I have MY questions answered? Submit them in the comment section or at FB. Or ask me personally. I charge much less than your psychoanalyst.
