Haus of Gagayoncé

Oh my! Your fingernails are so shiny today! This is gonna be one of these posts that doesn't have any particular topic. I'm just writing whatever comes to mushy mind.

- Thanks to Bavarian M, a.k.a. Lady Gaga #2, for her suggestion to watch "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" in the first place. I salute your popcultural wisdom!

- In reaction to my last post, many lovely readers brought additional amazing imaginary bands to my attention, e.g. Alvin and the Chipmunks, Josie and the Pussycats, and The Fabulous Stains. If you haven't heard of the latter, this girl punk band appears in the 80s movie "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains", starring a SUPERyoung Diane Lane and lots of Siouxsieesque eye make-up (I haven't seen it yet, but it looks convincingly cringeworthy/ fabulous).

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- For everyone who always wanted to see two (very likely) intoxicated girls wearing popstar costumes without pants and acting ridiculously embarrassing in public, there is great news! You don't have to visit Brighton on a Saturday night anymore, since the action will take place in a city near you. I have been challenged by a Lady がが and now I can't chicken out anymore or I will lose my pop honor, because once you kill a cow you gotta make the burger.

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If you want to be part of our Entourage - or as we insiders refer to it, our "Haus of Gagayoncé" - get some fabulous outfits, move your derrière over here and together we will exult the night away. Although we appreciate you knowing the whole back catalogue, by heart, mainly concentrate on rehearsing Bad Romance, Single Ladies, Telephone and Pokerface (the Glee version, pleaaaase). If you need inspiration on how to express yourself humbly through dancing with props, I suggest you watch this. If you need motivational help with your singing while wearing a bear on your hat, watch this.

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- Apropos furry headwear: Benjamin Franklin supposedly wore his rustic beaver hat during official events while he lived in France. He did this in order to underline his hearty American heritage. Remember, this was at a time when Marie Antoinette had ships in her hair sculptures. Joy! Love! I have to pee!

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- Marina Abramovic does amazing performance art in the MOMA. Did I already mention this? She must be totally de-hydrated!

- With the help of G, I figured out one of the composite factors that contribute to being a grown-up --> ironic distance from teenagehood = 5% nostalgia and 95% relief that it's all over now, baby blue. A shoelace that is actually a guitar string becomes a logistical problem as soon as you try to tie it. Three bottles of green hairspray sound good in theory, but they fail to provide clean bathrooms after usage, causing mother-daughter-relations to plummet. I should really do a post on the wrongness of teenage style choices. Good excuse to talk about werewolves. Also, why is there no Team Bella? Feminism, anyone?

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- Ah, great bridge! The Seven Sisters decided to open up an eight franchise in the Ukrainian woods. These Eastern Wendys are trained in martial arts and presumably don't eat ice cream for breakfast.

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- Something completely different: the Aids Conference 2010 is going to take place in Vienna and it'll be huge (they even delayed the Life Ball because of it!). They need volunteers to get the whole thing running smoothly, so if you don't have plans for July 18- 23, register here. I can help you organize a free place to sleep, of course.

- I nearly forgot. There's gonna be a SKINS movie coming out in 2011! Reportedly, it will combine the casts of both generations, which makes me wonder how long this film will be. I don't care about Freddy, but please lovely writers, bring back Chris! He is so charming in his idiocy.